There is a Malmö you find on the tourist maps, which is mostly Lilla Torg and the Turning Torso, and there is a Malmö where people who live here actually meet for a third date. The two overlap less than you would think.
Lyran on Möllevångsgatan
Lyran is the answer when a Malmö local wants to take a date somewhere good without making it a production. It is small, it does a set menu that changes weekly, and it costs less than the equivalent place in Copenhagen would. Book two weeks ahead. The room is loud in a comfortable way, the staff are friendly without performing, and you walk out into Möllan, which is exactly where you want to be after dinner.
This is the most-recommended Malmö date restaurant among people who actually live in the city, and it has stayed that way for years.
Solde Kafferosteri for daytime
The original Solde on Regementsgatan is where Malmö people go for a daytime coffee date when they want to actually talk. The space is plain, the coffee is taken seriously without being precious about it, and there is no music loud enough to make you lean in. A second Solde location at Davidshallstorg works for the same purpose with a slightly more design-conscious crowd.
A coffee date at Solde costs about 50 SEK each and lasts as long as you want it to. Nobody will rush you out.
The canals on a bike
Malmö is a cycling city and a date on bikes is more local than a date on foot. Rent through Malmö by Bike if you do not have your own, pick up at any of the stations around the center, and ride the loop around the canal from Slottsparken to Kungsparken to Pildammsparken and back. It takes about an hour at a slow pace, you can stop at any point, and it sets a tone that says I live here, I do this every week, this is just my Saturday.
In summer, end at the swimming spots at Sibbarp or Ribersborg. In winter, end at a cafe in Davidshall.
Pildammsparken for walks that mean something
Kungsparken and Slottsparken get the tourists. Pildammsparken, slightly further south, gets the locals. The big pond, the rose garden, the long avenues of plane trees. It is where Malmö people walk on Sundays with coffee from a thermos. A walk here on a Sunday morning is a more honest date than dinner anywhere fancy. Bring pastries from St Jakobs or Söderberg & Sara.
Dive bars that do not perform
Malmö has a small but loyal collection of unpretentious bars that locals use as date spots precisely because they are not impressive. Tempo on Södra Skolgatan is the best known, and it deserves the reputation. Pickwick Pub on Stortorget is older than most of its drinkers. Ölbaren on Engelbrektsgatan is a beer bar that does not lecture you about beer. None of these will photograph well. All of them are good places to find out whether you like someone.
Dinner at home, drinks out
The truly local move is to cook at home and go out for one drink afterwards. Shop at Möllevångstorget market in the morning, cook something simple, walk to Tempo or Belle Epoque for one glass of wine after. This is what Malmö people do on a Friday with someone they are dating seriously, and it is much harder to fake than a restaurant. If you have access to a kitchen and you have been on three dates already, this is the move.
What locals avoid
Locals avoid Lilla Torg in summer, when it fills with tourists and the prices climb. They avoid Centralen-area restaurants almost entirely. They avoid the harbor restaurants on weekend nights when the queues are long and the staff are stressed. They avoid anything that calls itself a concept.
They go to the same five or six places again and again, and they pick the place based on how the date is going rather than how it will look. The Malmö dating scene rewards consistency over ambition. Find your two or three rooms, learn the staff, and bring people there. It works.